After walking out of Transcendence
last night the only phrase that came to mind was "at least we had free
movie passes". Had I paid for the experience I'm certain my sourness would
be at a level such that I would not be able to write a review that didn't
consist of the following:
Perhaps the most tiresome thing
about Transcendence, aside from its
third grade knowledge of where we are with respect to technology, is its complete lack of a coherent theme. It is very difficult to pin down what
the writer intended to say about humanity's relationship with technology.. if
anything.
As one surmises from the trailer,
Will Caster (Depp) is mortality wounded and his wife (whose name I've forgotten
entirely and will therefore refer to as "Dave" for the remainder of
this review) uploads his consciousness to a hard drive (because, you know
that's doable).
We're
gonna need more RAM.
Will is then connected to the
internet and becomes an ungodly, disembodied super intelligence. Predictably,
the audience is left to wonder alongside Dave if her husband has indeed become
Digital Jesus or if they've just created HAL 9000 with a Johnny Depp scheme. Flash
forward two years, Will and Dave have built a gigantic underground laboratory
in the middle of Bumblefuck with funds acquired through what is essentially the
stock market equivalent of counting cards.
$30 million increase in stock value overnight? Seems legit.
There they employ half the town
and begin advancing the field of nano technology to Star Ship Trooper
proportions. They inject people with nano bots that not only repair injuries
and give them super human abilities, but also connect them to Will's consciousness.
He can control any one of them at anytime. Meanwhile Will 9000 is growing
creepier and more demanding. Dave literally can't get away from him.
so
i might have been watching you masturbate.
Dave is fervent in her belief that
this program is indeed her husband. A viewpoint that is nearly impossible to
empathize with. Why? Because the audience has NO CLUE who Will is in the first
place. He is killed off within the first fifteen minutes of the film and is
about as distinctive as Honda Accord in a parking garage. The same can be said
of every character in the film, star studded cast be damned. They are all place
holders intended to represent a "side" and have no unique qualities
that make anyone relate to them let alone care what happens to them.
Oh, did I mention that this film
has no central character? Yeah. If I had to guess, I would say the writer went
into the story with Max Waters (Bettany) as the main man. Despite the fact that
his character arc (joining a group of anti-tech terrorist who murdered several
of his friends and colleagues) occurs off screen during the two year gap we don't
get to see. In reality this story is actually about Dave. But writing women is,
you know. Hard.
The filmmakers had two hours to get the audience invested in
the characters... and they blew it. By the time the action started to happen, I couldn't have been further from the edge of
my seat. I literally did not care about any one of them.
Me during 90%
of the movie.
Oh, by the way. The computer. It was Johnny Depp the whole
time. SPOILER. And he was trying to do what his wife wanted ... to change the
world. Because forcing people to conform to another person's version of utopia
isn't inherently flawed or wrong. Which is ironically something he himself
never wanted to do....? Yeah. This story has some holes. Big ones. Like hot dog down a hallway big.
The film doesn't go with the standard themes of
"absolute power corrupts absolutely" or "man tampering with
nature is arrogant and will have consequences". Instead it attempts to
argue (half assedly) that perhaps connecting every single human being to one neural
network wouldn't be that high of a price to pay to save the planet. Because if
humanity shared a collective conscience controlled by a being that required untold
amounts of power to exist we wouldn't pursue the preservation of our species to its logical conclusion.
In its effort to stand apart from similar AI narratives, Transcendence straddles the line of ambiguity such that it literally adds nothing to the
conversation. It contributes nothing to the discussion surrounding our growing
dependence on technology. I've heard better points on this issue stoned out of
my mind around a bonfire. The characters are dry and threadbare, and
all in all the film has the emotional range of Siri. Wait for it to hit
Netflix.
Still looking, folks.
